Saturday, October 08, 2005
Free Markets, United Airlines and Purgatory
Let's start off by saying that I'm a big fan of free markets. I like it when corporations battle each other to lower price and improve service. However my recent experience with the bankrupt (morally, financially, intellectually) United Airlines has caused me some pause. Which means, I might like free markets, but bankrupt, employee demoralizing, stupid, dinosaurs of a corporation should die. Allowing United Airlines to reorganize is like having George W. Bush teaching quantum physics.
The first thing I noticed when putting my credit card into the Easy Check in e-ticket carousel, was a prompt that asked me if I wanted to pay $54 additional dollars for 5 inches more leg room. I thought $10 an inch is a little steep, so I declined. I didn't realize my mistake until I actually sat down in the seat. Then it hit me. United Airlines was stealing inches from all those other passengers to create that additional five inches for those who paid the premium. To call the seating cramped, would be severe understatement. Let me put it this way, the act of getting out of the aisle seat when the person in front of you had their seat leaned back, required technique that would have impressed any circus contortionist. I figure the next grand United Airlines scheme will be to lower the oxygen content in the cabin and offer people hits of pure oxygen for $15 a hit. Perhaps they'll install a pay toilet on the plane (see bathroom theme below), or charge people for the pleasure of lifting the covers on the window to see outside. At least United should be forced to advertise their offerings honestly. Such as, if you don't want one of our sucky seats give us $54 dollars. Or if you like the comfort of being in a small box, take our $54 bad seat discount. Whatever.
Right after experiencing the claustrophobic environment of the cramped seats, United decided to drive home the point by having us sit on the tarmac for not one, but two hours. What were they doing?, well they were doing an "engine check" for about a half hour of that two hour period, the rest of the 90 minutes...well it seems that the baggage loading folks got tired of waiting and disappeared. Where? No one knows. It was if United was reinforcing the message, "you should have ponied up for the 5 inches asshole."
In addition to the lack of seating space, United went beyond the call of duty by 1) running out of toilet paper for the bathrooms, 2) having bathrooms that would have made describing them as grimy be a compliment; 3) having a bathroom breakdown (yes there was a definite bathroom theme to this flight); 4) having flight attendants who snapped at passengers when they didn't finish the drink they ordered ("if you're not going to finish the whole drink you should have asked for a glass). To add insult to injury, United Airlines, five, that's right five members of the United customer service team miscommunicated, dawdled, stumbled, accidentally set off their own security alarms and confused each other when trying to locate and deliver my wife's scooter. So an hour after we landed they located it. Soaking wet. It had been sitting in the rain for some reason.
But in the end we got to Boston safely, and in the end that is what counts the most.
The first thing I noticed when putting my credit card into the Easy Check in e-ticket carousel, was a prompt that asked me if I wanted to pay $54 additional dollars for 5 inches more leg room. I thought $10 an inch is a little steep, so I declined. I didn't realize my mistake until I actually sat down in the seat. Then it hit me. United Airlines was stealing inches from all those other passengers to create that additional five inches for those who paid the premium. To call the seating cramped, would be severe understatement. Let me put it this way, the act of getting out of the aisle seat when the person in front of you had their seat leaned back, required technique that would have impressed any circus contortionist. I figure the next grand United Airlines scheme will be to lower the oxygen content in the cabin and offer people hits of pure oxygen for $15 a hit. Perhaps they'll install a pay toilet on the plane (see bathroom theme below), or charge people for the pleasure of lifting the covers on the window to see outside. At least United should be forced to advertise their offerings honestly. Such as, if you don't want one of our sucky seats give us $54 dollars. Or if you like the comfort of being in a small box, take our $54 bad seat discount. Whatever.
Right after experiencing the claustrophobic environment of the cramped seats, United decided to drive home the point by having us sit on the tarmac for not one, but two hours. What were they doing?, well they were doing an "engine check" for about a half hour of that two hour period, the rest of the 90 minutes...well it seems that the baggage loading folks got tired of waiting and disappeared. Where? No one knows. It was if United was reinforcing the message, "you should have ponied up for the 5 inches asshole."
In addition to the lack of seating space, United went beyond the call of duty by 1) running out of toilet paper for the bathrooms, 2) having bathrooms that would have made describing them as grimy be a compliment; 3) having a bathroom breakdown (yes there was a definite bathroom theme to this flight); 4) having flight attendants who snapped at passengers when they didn't finish the drink they ordered ("if you're not going to finish the whole drink you should have asked for a glass). To add insult to injury, United Airlines, five, that's right five members of the United customer service team miscommunicated, dawdled, stumbled, accidentally set off their own security alarms and confused each other when trying to locate and deliver my wife's scooter. So an hour after we landed they located it. Soaking wet. It had been sitting in the rain for some reason.
But in the end we got to Boston safely, and in the end that is what counts the most.
# posted by Strange Anomaly : 10:28 PM
Comments:
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Wow, I can't believe the amount of spam you've gotten in just over 12 hours! Blogspot.com has those words that you have to type before a comment is accepted. Maybe Blogger has something like that. If not, OOPS! and sorry.
But now onto your post. I can't believe United did that. But you know it is the way of the free market. If you don't like the way they do business, let the free market take care of it and quitcherbitchin!
After all, a friend of mine who shall remain nameless, has often lectured me on the wondrous effects of the free market. *snicker*
But now onto your post. I can't believe United did that. But you know it is the way of the free market. If you don't like the way they do business, let the free market take care of it and quitcherbitchin!
After all, a friend of mine who shall remain nameless, has often lectured me on the wondrous effects of the free market. *snicker*
# posted by 
: 3:38 PM
: 3:38 PM
Well Ms Twigster,
I took your advice and implemented that type in the word function before someone can comment. Should have done it before, but I thought, who would spam my blog, how stupid of me. *grin*
But in reply to your post. Call me an educated consumer. Well I was educated before about United, but my wife has a warm spot for the old airline (I call this rhapsody in blue syndrome). So she did the United Airlines gig (tickets were cheap -- and how bad could it really be). The next time I'll fly Jet Blue, or Southwest or whoever else can get a plane out here.
Markets may not work quickly, but in the long run they will work. Either United Airlines is going to learn this, or they are going to die a slow, painful and nasty death. I bet the dinosaurs didn't know what hit them either.
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I took your advice and implemented that type in the word function before someone can comment. Should have done it before, but I thought, who would spam my blog, how stupid of me. *grin*
But in reply to your post. Call me an educated consumer. Well I was educated before about United, but my wife has a warm spot for the old airline (I call this rhapsody in blue syndrome). So she did the United Airlines gig (tickets were cheap -- and how bad could it really be). The next time I'll fly Jet Blue, or Southwest or whoever else can get a plane out here.
Markets may not work quickly, but in the long run they will work. Either United Airlines is going to learn this, or they are going to die a slow, painful and nasty death. I bet the dinosaurs didn't know what hit them either.
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